SO ... how am I doing? I'm going mental trying to put SPACES between the paragraphs - but it's not working *ugh*. And aside from this ridiculously dreary weather - I'm doing alright. Seriously, I'm so thankful that I overdosed on vitamin D in the sun last week because I think I just might have scurvy by now if I hadn't ...
And regarding my last post? *smile* I sure got a lot of kind words and wisdom from some remarkable people. Don't you find that when your head's hanging low, there are people around to remind you of all the good stuff? Or are just there to validate? Mighty wonderful, I'd have to say ... and a special shoutout to Carmen, whom I don't believe I know personally, but such wise words were spoken from a lovely heart. Thank you *smile*. You're right.
Does that mean that I'm not still in mourning the smack of reality? Nope. I still am ... and as I said to my mom today (poor lady, she reads my blog and after seeing her today I could tell that she was a little *cough* perplexed about my last post), "It's not that I'm unhappy. If anything it just shows how WONDERFUL the vacation was." And I have this to add as well: when our insecurities rear their ugly heads and we find ourselves wishing we were someone else or whatever the case may be - be thankful that you CAN see those insecurities. I told my cousin (who was on the vacation with us - and feeling quite the same as I), "It's like realizing you're living in the Matrix ... Last week I felt like my eyes were opened to some things about my life - and it was hard and wonderful all at the same time. Just because it was a lonely place doesn't mean I'd want to live in ignorance instead. I'd rather know I was living in the Matrix than be unaware." Ok. If you haven't seen the movie, you'll have no clue what that was all about.
And as for the Cruise of a Lifetime - do I have pictures? Sure do ... I posted about 2.7 billion of them on my FB. Trying to chose 10 of them to show you has given me a headache. Maybe tomorrow *grin*.
So, instead, I've decided to continue down the path of transparency and show who I am. Who I am, at the core, is a worshipper. If you've come to this site looking for Digiscrapping or something else, I invite you to take a moment and see what really is the most important thing for me.
I hope that's ok.
6 comments:
Beautiful, Tawn!
I agree with Alisa,
Thank you for being transparent and sharing your feelings because I'm sure that everyone feels like that but just doesn't share it. I know I have.
I love listening to the CLA cds and hearing you sing. Your voice is so beautiful and I love how you love just worshiping Jesus.
God bless you Tawn
Love J
Tania, You touched me this morning, listening to the words to this song. I couldn't stop crying as I listened. My children with worried faces asked me " what's wrong mama", and I said, mama's just happy that she has a wonderful powerful God that speaks through other people when you need an uplift. Thank you for being who you are. God bless you. Rosalia
PS. what song is that I've never heared it before.
I was just watching you worship and crying and thinking that sometimes it's like your posts are just for me. I know I am part of a blessed collective of people that read your blog - I can see that from the comments, others feel that way too. Thank you for taking the time to keep it up. Love,Janean
Words can't express how I felt when watching this video...countless emotions filled my heart but most of all I am so grateful that you have touched God in such a way that you are able to impart a worshipful spirit to others...I am so very proud of you...love, Mom.
Thank you so much for posting this Tawn. You are an amazing worshipper of our God :0) We havn't actually met, but I remember you from leading worship at CLA in Langley and sometimes you came to the Maple Ridge campus too (in which we used to attend). I found your blog through Jodi.
Bless you and your family.
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