24 August 2009

[new baby: 38wks+3days]

What's the update? I've had a lot of lovely friends ask how things are going - and I thought I'd just put it on my blog so that everyone gets the same story *smile*.

Well - it's Monday morning and I am full of many emotions. And most of them are way down deep in my bones, a result of a million raging hormones that make me feel like I'm going a wee bit insane *grin*. Pleading insanity isn't necessarily a bad thing ...

Everyone asks, "So - is this pregnancy different?" ... meaning, "Do you think it's a girl?" And truthfully, I have no clue ... but these last 2 weeks have DEFINITELY been different.

I am pretty much in constant pain - that constant groaning, low stomach ache. And THAT is not normal. I remember with Mattias, that the moment I felt something "down low", it was the start of labour. Same with Josiah ... in fact, my water broke BEFORE I even felt the slightest pain.

This pain keeps me from being the mom that I want to be. I am so tired, and on the verge of tears ... again, not because of anything particular - just the whacked out hormones *grin - gotta love them*. My feet are so swollen, that they've now cracked on the top of my foot to where the swollen bends are. I cannot feel the tips of any of my fingers, and lying down to sleep causes both hands to throb with swollen-ness, but with the added aggravation of pins-&-needles.

I drank the "tea" yesterday ... a couple of cups. And not a whole lot changed ... small things I noticed, but nothing big.

I was chatting with a friend on the weekend - and she was so great. I bared my soul to her, all the out-of-control feelings I have, the useless-mother-syndrome ... and she validated me and reminded me that I'm at the end ... that I'm normal. That I'm not being ungrateful ... that I cannot avoid being consumed by these things, because they are living inside of me ...

SO - where does that leave me? Well ... this week is going to be a CALM week, no late nights or doing more than I should. The boys are going to go to bed on time for the entire week ... I'm going to bring my overnight bag with me, wherever I go.

Maybe it'll be today ... or tomorrow. I have have 11 days left before "due date", which means I could have a long ways to go if he/she's overdue ... I cannot control that - and God already has the perfect birthdate for our new little one ...

I just hope it's before my hubby leaves for England on Sept.12.09.

4 comments:

Meg Baxter said...

Funny that your husband is leaving, too. Mine is arriving home tonight after 8 months away and heading back to New Brunswick for 10 weeks on Sept. 13 and I'm due Sept. 4. :( Mind you, I don't have two other kids running around at home. Here's to early/on time babies!

Kristin said...

Sending "hang in there" hugs your way! Remember, at this stage there is no such thing as "too many popsicles" or "too much tv"... for you, or the boys! ;-)

Lisa B. said...

I agree with Kristin, whatever it takes to get through the days right now...and that does not make you a bad mom in anyways! My girls have been enjoying movies in the afternoon for weeks while mommy dozes on the couch!

Before you know it this too shall pass and the wee babe in your arms will overshadow all the "yuck" that pregnancy can bring.

Crystal said...

I can empathize..as not long ago I was in your place;) and even more so being 5"1 I can really feel your pain...my hands throbbed all the time..and I was so swollen, and cramps and contractions galor before!! But soon enough this baby will be here!!!! PRaying for a safe arrival:)