[talk: For PETE'S Sake ...]

Ok ... so, it's been a few days. Quite honestly, I've avoided blogging ... haven't had time, 'been too overwhelmed with stuff. Blogging was at the bottom of the list ...

I remember reading a friend's blog a number of months ago, and she explained with her blogging world that she doesn't share everything. And I'm sure that most would expect that, but I thought that I would reiterate the same thing ... I don't share everything *smile*.

Some emotions, some circumstances, some outcomes - they're my own, or my family's ... and I know that you know that ... but thought I should maybe just say it out loud. I may leave out personal details or such - which may or may not affect your thoughts on the matter ... but just know that some things ... well, are mine *smile*.

This week has been full of "icks" ... we had a very real scare about losing my current pregnancy, which was a day full of tears and angst. But I am thrilled to say 2 days later that all is well, and I haven't had any symptoms since Tuesday's episode. I was fortunate to have had a doctor's appointment scheduled already for Tuesday, and my doctor was so reassuring and patient with finding the baby's heartbeat. He found it - after what seemed forever - which brought me and my friend to deep tears. I was so grateful to not be alone ... my hubby couldn't come - he was trapped on the couch. Still.

Which leads to today - another day spent at the hospital and finding out that he DOES need to have surgery. The specialist today was MIGHTY ticked that the last doctor didn't order surgery when he saw last week's xrays ... in FACT, today's specialist said that surgery should have happened IMMEDIATELY after my hubby's accident. The break in his leg was one comparable to a break that happens in a really bad car accident.

The pain that my hubby is in, is the same as the moment he broke it. That has been SO frustrating - as every morning I come downstairs and ask, "So - how's it this morning?" And every single day, for the last 16 days, it's been, "It's an 8 out of 10." Sixteen days??? Are you kidding me??

The doctor today said that my hubby SHOULD be in massive pain due to the type of break he has. That the pain would not have subsided at ALL since the accident. And so - the long and the short of it - is my hubby will be going in for surgery on Monday and staying overnight for assessment following.

We're taking this as good news, as the recovery time is actually shorter than if he just kept with the full cast. He will be in a short cast (to the knee) for 4 weeks (starting Tuesday) ... then assessed for whether he can have an aircast after completing those 4 weeks. On Monday, he will have a metal plate and screws put in. As of today, his leg has not healed at all, which is what is causing the pain. The bones are not lined up, as originally thought, and will not function normally if left to heal on their own.

The specialist said that if he did not have the surgery, he would never be able to play sports again. He wouldn't be able to jump on the trampoline, play street hockey, wrestle with the boys. He would only be able to walk. So - it was a no-brainer. Surgery it is.

I guess the only frustrating thing at this point, is that the last 2 weeks have been a bit of a waste. We'll be starting over on Monday, but - I guess we haven't really moved forward, more like standing still. So, no time lost? Hmmm. Guess so.

And after my own situation with this pregnancy, I was told by my doctor to not do "anything more than necessary for the next 2 weeks." ... which makes things a little tricky. We have a lovely girl helping out for the next couple of weeks - but it is SO frustrating not being able to do what I normally do, to not have what my husband normally does.

And tonight, Mattias let his little emotions show. He laid on top of my hubby and sobbed and sobbed ... then I took him to bed, where I held him for a good 20 minutes. It's been hard for him to watch his Papa be in so much pain, to not be able to play with him ... and with the baby scare and the tears that I had ... he knows that his little world is a bit crazy right now. So I just held him - and cherished the fact that he loves us so much that he hurts when we do.

So - for now - we wait.

"Be still and know that I am God." Ok God. We're being still ...