08 April 2009

[talk: Breathing OUT ... ]

I'm dancing.

Well, not on the outside ... it's a little hard to dance whilst typing ... but know, in my innermost, I am dancing.

I just called the doctor's office and they confirmed what I've felt in my heart all day: everything is perfectly fine. I can breathe in, I can finally breathe out ... all is well.

The ultrasound was fairly uneventful ... but the girl knew who I was because of Shalom. A weird thing to be famous for in the medical world *smile*. But it was good - because she was as reassuring as she was able to be, and kept me feeling calm.
I was at my church this morning and went to visit the "heads" of the music department. I call it my "small church' in my 'big church' - and it's great to have specific people who cover you in times like this.

DM is an amazing prayer warrior ... I so admire him. And SB has a calmness about her and a reassurance that I so needed today.

But before DM prayed, he looked at me with a smile in his eyes and said, "I will pray ... but you need to trade your fear for faith. Fear is the opposite of faith. You cannot have faith if you have fear." Well, I broke. Of COURSE I have fear ... a pretty validated case of it, I think. But that didn't change the truth in what he said.

I think for me, that I excuse my fear and say it's "wisdom of experience." A way to protect myself. A logical way to prepare myself for the worst. But He has not given us a spirit of fear, but a sound mind. SOUND. Calm. Logical. Clear.

And sure, I can sit here even now and say, "Oh - that's easy to type when you have the good news today ..." but I can sincerely say that I FELT peace and comfort and reassurance this entire day.

So thank you to ALL of you who have drenched me in your prayers. I don't know how those who don't know the Lord get through hard times. I rely so much on my church family, those friends who stand strong in their faith along side us. This world would be a terrifying place without them and the Truth that we walk in together.

And as someone who has walked the grief of having a child formed without a skull or brain, can I tell you how BEAUTIFUL this spooky photo is? *SMILE*. Isn't our baby lovely?? Ok. Well. Maybe not LOVELY. But ...well ... no ... they're lovely.


Janean said...

So awesome, that PEACE that passes all understanding...love it. Babe looks like he (just a guess) feels it too! J

Laura said...

Oh yay! Praise God :) I am so glad you feel His abundant peace and that all is well with your Baby. Your words brought tears to my eyes, as I am one who struggles with the fear vs. faith thing too, especially when it comes to things such as this! Thank you for passing along that Truth. Keep living in JOY! :)

Rishana said...

ABOSLUTELY LOVELY, in fact amazingly beautiful!
I am so happy that everything is ok! So, breathe it all in, let your heart rest, and know that your Heavenly Daddy has got your back!
Love ya lots:)

Ruthanne said...

This is great news!!! Fabulous news!! I am so happy for you *teary smile*
so are you still on bed rest?
much ♥♥♥

Jenn VH said...

Yeah! So happy to hear your great news!! Those photos are BEAUTIFUL--a true testament to the AWESOMENESS of God!! Happy to have seen you today on your family outing--another example of God's amazingness (is that even a word?!?).
~Jenn VH

Lisa B. said...

Beautiful pictures of that wee babe growing inside....I'm so glad to hear that all is well. Ahhh, God is so good!

Thinking of you often and praying for you always.


cara said...

YAY!! Boy or girl, I think the ultrasound pictures are beautiful. They represent life and hope and God's faithfulness.
So I guess the AU/NZ trip is still on? I'm looking forward to seeing your pictures as motivation to make a trip like that happen for us. After our upcoming trip to Ireland, those two countries are moving to the top of my "must see" list. :)

Canadian Kristin said...

Been bathing you in prayers and am THRILLED for you guys to have a great ultrasound result yesterday!!!!!

Tawn said...

thank you thank you thank YOU - for praying, for believing, for taking a moment to encourage ... what a wonderful village I have surrounding my growing family ...

Shawna said...

Beautiful babe - I'm glad peace has been with you.

hmm, doesn't Shalom mean peace?