29 March 2010

[biggest loser: New Ev'ry Morning]

I bumped into a friend at church last night, and through our conversation the topic of The Biggest Loser came up.  Apparently, she reads  my blog (hey LN *grin*), and wondered where my Monday posts have been.

UGH.

I have a love/hate relationship with accountability.  Without it, I find I just coast along ... with it, I get motivated.  So - here I am, not sure how to put it into words about trying again and facing the music.

I hate that I've been the same weight for the last 10 weeks.  It makes me feel lazy and I'm disappointed in myself for not having more self-control when it comes to rummaging through the cupboards for a snack.  The truth is, is that I haven't gained any weight - so I guess that's a good thing.  But it makes me deflate when I think of all the "extras" I've been eating - and maintaining - meaning, that if I wouldn't have, this weight probably would've fallen off.

Being so involved in music, songs are what circle in my head.  And most of the songs that are branded in my heart are ones that are based on scripture.  There's a song that we used to sing, that says ...

"The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed will never cease
And His compassions, they’ll never fade away

They are new every morning
They are new every day
Great is Thy faithfulness

The Lord’s amazing grace, abounds to us every day
And His great mercies, they will never fade"

I am so thankful for a new day, to try again ... and not just with my weight.  That's just a small part of who I am - and my 10/15/20lbs are really not that important.  But today is a new day to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.

My prayer for today is that I would see myself as He has made me, rejoice in that, and yet also not be ignorant to the things the He wants to change in me.  Giving up all of those things is the only way the He can do what He does best.  "They are neeeeeeeeeew ev'ry mornin'."

Today's weight:  140.8lbs
Waist:  31.5 inches

Have a good one.

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