[talk: Sigh. I Feel It Coming.]

It did it again.

The Christmas Cactus bloomed ... how does it know?? I mean, it's not like my house temperature drops to freezing levels and lets the little plant know that it's winter time. But it's a smart creation and it bloomed the most incredible blossoms this year. The stems were heavy with pink flowers.

And my heart grew heavy as well - as I braced myself for the anniversary of our loss of Shalom. It's been three years - can you believe it? And yet, as December 17th creeps up on my calendar, it all begins to replay in my mind. Everything tweaks a memory ... setting up the Christmas tree, the first snowfall, the Christmas Production at church. And it's not like I feel the need to stay in bed for a week and sob until there's nothing left - no, that's not it at all. But there are moments - just a few - where I ache to hold my little girl.

I'm certain every woman, or man for that matter, who has lost a child knows exactly what I mean. Regardless of the length of gestation - a child is a child. And I would guess that most women remember the day they lost their child and as that date approaches, their arms begin to ache too.

We're still really not sure if we'll have more children. *smile* Things are getting easier around here with 2 growing boys. The thought of going to a newborn - well - some moments it seems like the GREATest thing, and the next, I feel selfish as I start to see a bit of freedom and opportunities for me on the horizon. But ultimately, He's in control - um, that would be God *grin* - and we want His will to be done, not ours. So we shall see ...

So - that's where I've been lately. Don't get me wrong - life has been GOOD *smile*. I love the Christmas season, despite its little reminders. I'm a big fan a tradition, and the annual events bring normalcy to me. And we've been spending so much time with family, old friends, making new friends ... we are blessed.

And on Wednesday, we will go see the Christmas lights. Shoot. My eyes welled as I wrote that. *moment*. Ok. I'm good. *smile*. We'll get hot chocolate and walk to see the lights in a nearby neighbourhood. Apparently, it's going to snow - so I hope that it all works out. Because, that's what we do on Shalom Hope's day.

Then we're going to my bro & sis-in-law's for my mom's birthday dinner. Her bday is December 16th.

Ok - enough of all that ... it's Monday - and that's when I post my weekly meal plan. Here's what I've planned for this week:

Monday - at my in-laws

Tuesday - roast beef, baked yams, green beans

Wednesday - at my sis-in-laws

Thursday - Chicken Hurrey, brown rice, brocolli w/cheese

Friday - Smart Chilli, homemade crusty bread, veges and dip.

Saturday - out for dinner.

And for you, dear friends, I wish you Peace for today and Hope for tomorrow. Just as our little one's name reminds us.

[digiscrap: Pages and Dreaming Of Highschool ...]

Let's see.

There are difficult times for some homes right now. I have a friend from "long ago" lose her son in her 2nd trimester last week. I have another friend who went through the painful journey of thinking her unborn child would have a chromosome issue - but relieved at the news that their child is going to be alright. We have friends who are walking a difficult road in their marriages. Our family friends are going through the anniversary of their father's passing, while a relative of ours is dealing with the difficulties of Alzheimer's after 50 years of marriage.

So. I tell you - THIS is why we dream of high school.

I used to wonder why my dad always talked about his senior high year - I thought it was a bit weird when I was growing up. But he used to tell me that it was the last time in his life where he had no responsibilities. Life was good. And even if life was hard in high school, it as still less complicated than it is now. And who are we kidding. Memories are always better than the real thing for some reason.

I wasn't the pretty one, or the popular one, in high school. But I had good friends and most of them are still close to me now. And that's a fun thing - when you can relive the GOOD of those days with people you're still in relationship with now.

But I didn't dream of high school last night *smile*. Oh, I had a doozy of a dream that woke me up really exhausted. See, I'm leading worship this Sunday, and I usually have these fears of sleeping in or something. Well - in my dream, all the power went out during the music. A stranger kept wanting to sit beside me on the piano. Our drummer (oh, he'll get a kick out this when I tell him ...) had these coke-bottle glasses ... so thick, he couldn't hit the drums right. It was chaos. Honestly - like "Alice in Wonderland". People were filing in, filing out. Chaos.

So, today I made sure that we're having a practice on Thursday *grin*. And I'll get my list done tonight too ... cross that off my list.

We have some family things lined up over the next few days, and a dinner at friends house on the weekend that I'm SO excited about. They're friends we just don't see enough of ... And then there's Sunday. And being apart of worship. Did you see the spring in my step? It was there - even if you missed it *wink*.

And I've been doing some pages as of late ... hope you enjoy. And hope that life it treating you well ... if not, take a moment and remember the time when things weren't so complicated. It just may

put a smile on your face too.

click on images to enlarge.

[talk: Mom's Birthday Luncheon]

A number of months ago, I was privileged to be included in a special 50th Birthday Celebration. It was held by a lady from our church, who decided to honour her friends by having them join her in a special lunch to celebrate. It was an extremely classy event, held at a beautiful hotel in town. There were so many great ideas, and the whole event really touched me.

Within a few days of attending, I had a conversation with my sis-in-law and father. I wanted to host something like this for our mother. And as soon as I started thinking about it, more and more ideas kept coming to me. I knew that my mom wouldn't like a "surprise", and so we decided to have her be a part of certain aspects of the party. And after finally convincing her that she should do this *grin* (she doesn't like to be th center of attention) she agreed. Her first job would be to choose the guest list.

It was an intimate luncheon, so the guestlist was small. These were people who had been apart of her life since her arrival in Canada 40 years ago. And there were others who had been a part of significant milestones in her life.

Once we had the guest list, I created an invitation. My mom requested that I put "no gifts" on the invitation - but I convinced her that it looked a little "tacky" *grin*. What she DIDN'T know, is that we included a little note to each guest, asking if they would like to contribute to a group gift I would be purchasing on behalf of the guests.

Mom was also in charge of the menu. She opted for the Oven Roasted Squash Soup, a Chicken Entree with mushroom ragout and a Wildberry Cheesecake. A perfect blend of wonderful food.

So, after much conversation, much planning, much creating and making - the day finally came. I jokingly called it the "Wedding For One" as we really tried to make every detail special. There were menu cards, a program card of the afternoon's events, a small bud vase for each guest to take home, and centre pieces (given to the person with her birthday closest to our mother's). The colour palette was chosen from some ribbon I had found in Phoenix ... red with a black velvet print.

I even attempted to make my first "formal" cake to serve as her birthday cake. This proved to be a longer venture than I had originally thought. And it was much trickier than the "Cars Cake" I made for Tias' birthday. I wanted the cake to be perfect. And it was a bit ... dimply *grin*. But it was YUMMY with a french vanilla cake, almond butter frosting and marshmallow fondant. Not too bad for a first try - but not as stunning as I had hoped.

ANYway - when I woke up to sunshine (and there is NO place lovelier when the sun shines in my hometown ...) I knew it was going to be a grand day. My sis-in-law and I got to the Golf & Country Club early to set up ... and we were THRILLED at the intimate setting already presented for us. The cozy fireplace, the Christmas tree and poinsettias - which is EXACTLY what I was decorating with for the bud vases and cake *grin*. SCORE!!

When the guests started arriving, my camera started clicking. Well. Before that. But you know what I mean. We had a group photo outside to document everyone, and then the festivities began. We had an opening prayer from my auntie G, the meal and then a speech from auntie M, my mom's NZ sister who was able to join us. We were thrilled to have her there. There was another touching speech from my auntie R ... full of beautiful, heartfelt words.

My sis-in-law and I both said a few words, and shared in leading a couple of sacred songs that were meaningful to my mom: "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" and "This Is Holy Ground".

After singing "Happy Birthday", taking some cake photos, and having dessert, we made a presentation to my mom - the gift that everyone had contributed to. It was a circle diamond necklace, representing her circle of friends.

In response, mom said a few words about each guest and thanked everyone with a heart full of love. It was so beautiful. To see her well up with emotion was the greatest "thank you" of all. It made every moment of planning the smallest detail, worthwhile. She noticed it all *smile*.

So, mom, I know you're going to read this *smile* and I am so very, very happy that this day was meaningful for you. You are loved by so many, and it was just a great thing to be a part of. Happy birthday.

Here are a few more pics of the event ...

[make: Pureed Cayenne Corn & Bacon Chowder]

Ok ... today I am officially running around like a chicken with my head cut off. That doesn't mean I don't have a moment to blog, though *grin*.

We've been planning a birthday party for my mother for the last few months. But I have to be careful in spilling any details, as I know my mom checks this blog fairly often ... and SOME things have to be a surprise.

I love details. Colour palettes, menu cards, fonts. So every couple of hours or so, I get another idea - write it down, and try and finish it before bedtime. Some people think that details are a nuisance, a "why bother". For me, it's my love language. I'm not one of these people who see something in the store and think, "OH - that would be perfect for so-and-so." In fact, I'm pretty useless at that. Gift giving is not my love language *grin*. But details are.

So, I'm hoping that my mom will see all the details and see the love that's been put into her special day. Be sure to come back tomorrow - there'll be a ton of pics and stories to tell, I'm sure.

For today - I'm making her birthday cake. I've never made a "formal" cake before. And I am SO excited to give it a try. I made the fondant a couple of days ago and it's ready-to-go. I've been diagramming what I'd like to do ... so here's to hoping I don't screw it up *GRIN*. No time for mistakes!

But before I go, one reader asked for this recipe. Funny - it's out on my counter as it's what we're having for dinner tonight ... maybe you will too. It's my hubby's favourite.

Pureed Cayenne Corn & Bacon Chowder
I have altered this recipe from the original one given to me by my sister-in-law. I had it at her house when my hubby and I were dating. SO great ...

1/2 onion, finely chopped
5 strips of bacon, cut into small pieces
1/4 cup chopped celery
1 med carrot, shredded (or grated)
2 tbsp flour
3 cups corn (canned or frozen)
2.5 cups milk
1 cup whipping cream
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper

Directions:

- saute onion, bacon. add celery until clear.
- add carrots & flour. Cook 3 minutes.
- gradually add corn. stir in milk gradually.
- for a SMOOTH soup (which is what I do), puree in blender at this point - before adding whipping cream as it will get frothy instead of smooth.
- return to pot
- cook on low heat, add whipping cream.
- add cayenne pepper and salt/pepper to taste.

Note: Sometimes I add more milk, depending on the final consistency. Just remember that it dilutes the "corn" taste when too much milk is added. Also - the cayenne pepper isn't everyone's liking ... add as little or as much as you like.

Enjoy!

(this has already been edited, as J told me I forgot the bacon *GRIN*. SEE??? It's "altered" and not in the recipe ... so, I took out the butter b/c of the bacon fat. AND I drain the fat after the veges have been cooked, before adding the flour. Thanks J!)

[organize & make: Tiger Butter & Meal Planning]

First off - life has been good around here. We've been purging the boy's toys into "donate" and "throw away" - which makes me SO happy. Too much clutter makes me go crazy. Tomorrow I'm going out with some friends from Elementary school *crAZy* and am looking forward to a night out ... my husband is playing hockey 4 times this week - so don't feel bad for him *grin*. And yesterday, I lead worship at our church and I haven't done that since August, with all of our traveling messing that up. It was so wonderful to be apart of it all and I'm feeling recharged and ready-to-go.

OOOooo ... so, I thought that if I was accountable to all of YOU for getting my meal planning done - I'd have a little added pressure for making sure my meals had a bit of thought put into it. I did this last night, and did the grocery shop while Tias was in preschool today. And tonight's dinner is so easy - I won't have to worry about it until 5pm ... whoo hoo!! Now, to just fold the laundry that's beeping. *sigh*.

Monday: Paninis with prosciutto, mozzarella & roma tomatoes. Veggies & dip.

Tuesday: Whole Grain fettuccine w/rosa sauce and salad.

Wednesday: Pureed Cayenne Corn & Bacon Chowder with buttermilk biscuits

Thursday: Chicken fried rice w/ brown rice, eggs, red peppers & peas.

Friday: Tacos for the boys - taco salad for the grown ups *grin*.

Saturday: goin' out ... yay!

And people seemed to like having baking recipe ideas - so here's another standard one in our home. It comes from the "Best of Bridge" series of cook books.

Tiger Butter

1 lb white chocolate (I use the bulk wafers ...)

3/4 cup smooth peanut butter

2 oz dark chocolate

Directions:

- Melt white chocolate and peanut butter on low heat (or double boiler) until smooth.

- Pour onto cookie sheet LINED with wax paper.

- Melt dark chocolate and drizzle over the white chocolate/peanut butter mixture. Swirl with a knife to get the "marbled" effect.

- Refrigerate to set. Break into pieces. Freezes well (if you can keep it in your house long enough).

On a little side note - I never measure anything in this recipe *grin*. I put as much white chocolate as I have; I guess-ti-mate the peanut butter ... and I use milk chocolate wafers instead of dark chocolate. In other words, this recipe is FOOL proof. I'll be making some this afternoon - then peeling my sons off the walls from their sugar overload while helping me *grin*.

AND - would you like a couple of "alternatives" to the peanut butter? I've used Nutella before *yum*. OR you could just melt the white chocolate, and pour in some rice crispy cereal (not too much ... just enough for some crunch - say 1 cup) and some chopped dried cranberries and cashews. That idea was from a friend's mom ... Or you could melt the white chocolate and pour in crushed candy canes. THAT one is my favourite ... ooo. LOVE peppermint.

Peppermint lattes. Peppermint gum. Peppermint candy canes. I've even owned peppermint perfume before *grin*. (going on a tangent here ... are you sensing that??)

I opted to not buy the Candy Cane Ice Cream in the store today ... it's my favourite. I'd eat the whole thing if it was in my house *grin* and I'm not prepared to run the 10 miles per day I'd need to, to keep up the habit. And who are we kidding? I have candy canes in the house. I have vanilla ice cream (splenda, double churned, just to make me feel better about it). You do the math *wink*.

Enough already. Go make some and let me know if you liked it *grin*.

Have a GREAT day.