It's been six days ... six days that I've known, six days that I've battled in my mind - "did it? is it?".
Last Sunday night, I was apart of a worship service at Recovery Church. There, I spoke of my personal need for healing ... and how I believed the Lord would heal me and touch me.
By faith - not by anything else, trust me.
See, I injured my knee a few weeks back - to the point where a white-hot-pain would shoot up my leg when I walked up the stairs. It's been a private, embarrassing, "gee, I'm getting old" battle. Plus I love to run - and I haven't been. That messes my mind up. But if I had to stay away from running, I'd live ... but walking? I really rely on that. Pain? Simply put: it needed to go.
Yet, when I shared with RC about it - I felt selfish. A knee injury isn't worth bothering God about, right? There are REAL needs ... cancer and disease, near-fatal injuries, marriage problems, world-problems ... He's gotta be busy with all of that, no? I really shouldn't pester Him about my sorry-ol' knee.
Then He reminded me that His word says in Matthew 10:29-31: "Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows." (Living Translation)
So. My pain matters. And God doesn't have a limit to what He can do. There isn't a "maximum" of healings He is capable of. I didn't budge in line. I didn't steal someone else's miracle.
Now, I do not have answers as to why the Lord heals some and not others, and when He chooses for it to happen. I have watched journeys of both - of 100% healing, and of 100% still-waiting. Why? I don't know ... but what I have learned is that even miracles have an ending. They don't go on forever. Financial miracles, marriage miracles, physical miracles - our own choices and junk can interrupt those miracles and change them back to the pain that they were. Or something new can and will happen. You could be healed of cancer one day, and be injured in a car accident the next. It doesn't dilute the initial miracle. But that's another long discussion, with many other thoughts and opinions.
But this, this is my story and by faith - even if my knee begins to bother me again - this week, I received a miracle.
It's funny ... what happens to your emotions when you realize that something MAY have happened. I hadn't noticed a thing until I walked down the stairs on Monday morning ... I stopped. Walked back up. Looked around. Down again.
"Well ... it's early ... I won't tell anyone yet. Because I'll feel SUPER dumb if it starts hurting by lunch."
That's what I thought.
An hour went by ... then two.
I texted two friend-leaders from Recovery Church and told them, "I've been healed," and shared what I've just shared with you.
Today - I ran. 4km. No pain. And while I was running, I was - like - "how's it feeling", "am I really healed", "what happens if it starts to hurt again?"
It feels just fine. No pain ... so. I was compelled to testify - and share my journey of doubt and faith. Of waiting and of sharing.
And if it hurts again tonight - it simply doesn't take away the pain-free week I've had.
I was healed. I am healed.
Have a great one!