[digiscrap: 2010 Pages]

WELL ... first off ... a massive, massive "THANK YOU" to all of you.  I had so many encouraging comments about my BRAND NEW photography site ... RedHanded Photography is feeling more and more like me every day ... I'm considering printing all the lovely words and putting them in my special case of memories ;-).  THANK YOU.  Really.  Truly.  Thank you.

What else ... well, today marks day 2 of avoiding sugar.  Now, I'm not doing this super-hard-core ... just no sweets.  Which, in itself, is a mighty feat.  But I have GAINED weight this month (shame on me) and enough is enough ... January is over and I'm stomping on its head.  

I literally just finished my first Jillian 30day shred workout in a loooong time.  I am going to be sore tomorrow ... and I am trying to not be over eccentric over it all.  Whenever I get obsessed, it seems to be the beginning of my downfall.  Moderation is key for me ... 

My goal?  Well - we're heading back to Phoenix in March, and it would be so exciting if I didn't have to tuck my loose tummy into my bathingsuit *ha!  now THERE'S an image for you ...* ... I'm hoping that 5lbs will make it less tuck-able *grin* ... 

And I plan on running this week too ... Jillian is just more efficient with the time that I have.  But I don't get my head clear the way I do when I run ... so even as I sit here sweating, it's not the same.  But it's good enough for today ...

I'm also trying to catch up on Digiscrapping ... the evenings this week are going to be focused on finishing up 2010.  Oh, that would feel SO great.  I take too many pics in December *grin* ...

Here are a few digipages that I've done over the last little bit ... enjoy.  And double click the images to enlarge.

Have a great one!!

[redhandedphotography: THE BIG LAUNCH!!]

OH MY WORD.

After some hilarious drama last night - I found out the some people could see my NEW SITE ... and I couldn't.  I didn't even know it was UP.  How is that possible??  Maybe it takes time for all the computers around the world to view it ... but when I started having people congratulating me on it - and I had no clue what they were talking about *grin*.  Gotta love Facebook!

BUT now - I can see it ... 

Oh please, oh please ... stop by!!  There is a LOT to look at ... and I'm sure I'll be tweaking it over the next few days.  Creating a site is ADDICTING.  Things can always be rearranged, changed, improved.

And would you take a moment to comment here? *blush*  So nervous, so excited - it was so much work.  Would LOVE to know your thoughts ... and I won't be offended about things you think could make it better!!

Here's the site:  http://www.redhandedphotography.com

Oh boy.

Now I'll just sit and wait.

*tapping fingers on the counter ...*

[redhanded photography: The Pressure Pt2.]

So.

I'm back from my run ... 5km.  And I'm not posting my time because ... because it sucked *grin*.  BUT I am very happy that I did it ... and hoping that the rain holds off - at least every other day - so I can get outside and run ... run, run, run.

As I was running, listening to some incredible worship music, I knew I would have to come back and post - again.  Because after km #3, I already felt victory.  The music touched my soul, the wind cleared my head and the sweat - man, it feels good to sweat.

I realized that I can't take a break from taking care of myself.  And I mean that in a physical, spiritual, mental sort of way.  I can feel defeat when I'm not clear-headed ... and for me, that comes from not eating right, exercising and sleeping well.

These last few weeks I have been super-ty-dooper-ty busy ... too many eggs in too many baskets.  And the first thing to go?  Me.  Then what happens?  I get sick.  Which means I'm too tired to do what I need to - take care of myself.

I'm thankful that God's mercies are new every morning ... that I can start over again.  And fail again.  And start over again and again.   I also love how He takes the time to remind me of these things.  When I ask, He is faithful to answer.

So - do I feel all those things I felt a few hours ago?  Um ... a little.  But not as much *wink*.

And Mary?  Your comment was so life-giving ... thank you *smile*.  (Mary's a past piano student of mine when she was in elementary and highschool ... and I just adore her.)

If you were like me this morning - feeling inadequate, irrelevant, overwhelmed ... stop, offer up a prayer and take a moment to make sure that you're taking care of yourself.

Have a great one!!!

[redhanded photography: The Pressure.]

**deep breath**

Ok.

The truth is, the more I immerse myself in photography, the more I feel like I'm just not ... cool enough.   The photography industry is all about image (obviously ... image, images ... you do the math *grin*) - and being a stay at home, thirty-something, God-loving mom ... well.  It just doesn't seem ... cool enough.

This process of my new site has forced me to really look at who I am as a professional.  And honestly - even saying that kinda makes me wince.  Professional.  I feel like there would be so many who would cut me down by using that phrase ... 

"You're just someone who likes to take photos ... "

"Did you go to school for photography?"

"How much equipment do you have?"

"Have you gone to the latest "this that and the other" and seen "so and so's" work?"

When I start letting those thoughts come in, the truth is, I feel so defeated.  I feel like I'm just not good enough - that my passion for images is really just my own, and I am the teensiest of fish in the biggest ocean of photography.  And I know that this, for the most part, is a waste of a thought process.  Every person, in every field must feel like this ... no?

It's hard "starting over" as an adult, you know?  I was confident with all of my music degrees and the successful music studio I ran after highschool and in my 20's.  But starting a new career is daunting at the best of times - never mind entering into a field that is so opinionated and diverse.

As I was creating my new site, I really wanted it to represent me.  I've said this before - but I wanted it to be about my images and simple, clean lines.  I'm no indy-artist (oh how I wish I were)... I'm not a fashion connoisseur (are Lulu's considered high-fashion??) ... and I would love to, but I never seem to make the time to go and be inspired by a trip to the city, or a walk on my own to some remote area.  

I'm not.  I'm not.  I'm not.  It rings in my ears.

And as I it rings, I try and choose to think back to my word "intention".  What are my intentions with my business? Well - to provide the very best that I can, at a cost that I think is fair.  Do I want to grow my business?  Yes.  I want to have an impeccable reputation, that will only come with time.  My intention is to be the best that I can - which may be less than the best that someone else can do ... but I truly, truly desire for the people who do entrust me to take their images - to be elated.  I want to hone in on the style that I think I am ... journalistic, documentary, telling the whole story.

My site's not up just yet ... I hope you'll come and see it when it is - and I so appreciate all the encouragement you've given.  Putting your work out there to be critiqued is a scary thing ... and it's so important for me to remember that photography is just one part of who I am.  As long as I am doing my very best for those who hire me, that's really what matters.   That, and making sure all the other facets of who I am are being taken care of too ... wife, mom, friend, worship leader ... digiscrapper *grin*.

Wow.

Where did all that come from??  

On another note - I haven't run in 3weeks.  THREE WEEKS.  Why?  Well, first battling a wicked cough and then a dripping nose ... and then it's been raining, raining, raining.  So.  This morning, as I type this, I am wearing my running gear.  A little nervous that I might throw up - that I'll be sore tomorrow - that I'll feel defeated in the first km.

Intention.  Well.  My intention is to be healthy, to clear my head, to do something that's solely for me.  So, I guess is doesn't matter if I throw up, if I'm sore or even if the 1st km kills me.

Man.  I am rambling today.   See?  I need to run and clear the muck in my head ... 

Have a great one ...

[redhanded photography: Benjamin]

My new site's not up yet.  Getting frustrated ... but that's just the way the tech-y world goes.  I'm waiting - like a kid on Christmas morning and my gift is wrapped in duct tape.  I want to rip it open, and instead it's a painful game of waiting ...

The hard thing, is that the longer it's not up - the more fiddling I do.  And then I start second guessing myself ... what if it isn't good enough?  What if I think it's cool and others think it's lame??

Nope.  I won't go there ... I like it - and I think that you will too.

But for now, another photoshoot with 9month old Benjamin was SUCH a fun shoot.  You gotta check it out by clicking HERE .

Here's a preview of this little man ...

See what I mean??

Have a great one!